There are slanderous rumors that Zappa was a jerk when he was a guest
   on Saturday Night Live, back in 1979 or whenever it was. Here's what
   FZ had to say about it.
   The following excerpt is from an interview with Steve Simels, and was
   published in the April 1979 issue of Stereo Review.
   On just having hosted Saturday Night Live:
   "It's a very difficult thing to do; they never make it easy on anyone
   who hosts the show. All the direction and attention goes to the
   sketches. They're not called skits - they become _incensed_ if you
   call them skits - and it's all designed to accommodate the people who
   are regulars on the show, so anybody who goes on there to hosts is at
   a severe disadvantage. Because they never tell you what camera is on,
   and you're not supposed to memorize your script because they're
   rewriting right up to show time. And so you're looking at the cue
   cards, and unless you're used to acting live on TV, you haven't got a
   prayer; you'll be looking at the wrong camera. It was really hard.
   "And the other thing that happened was - and I didn't find out about
   it until the day after the show - that the first day I went there for
   the meetings with them they didn't like me and wanted to get rid of
   me. But no one said anything to my face while I was working on the
   thing. So they had written dialogue for me to say that I wouldn't
   normally say; they wouldn't let me write any of my own stuff.
   "I think I'd be a fantastic television personality. I think I'd be a
   real good interviewer if I had a talk show, or a variety show. I'd be
   really good at it. But just to get up there and be the dumbbell in _A
   Night_On_Freak_ Mountain_ ...I mean, sure, I'll do that for a laugh,
   but I'm not gonna build a life on it.
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